MY POSITIVE CAESAREAN SECTION EXPERIENCE

I had planned a Vaginal Birth After Caesarean Section (VBAC) with my second baby, Alba. However, there were concerns from 28 weeks gestation about her growth. She was measuring small (less than the 10th centile), and after a lengthy conversation with Callum (My husband), My amazing Community Midwife and my Obstetrician, we decided that if her growth was a continuous concern then I would have an Elective Caesarean Section. A decision I did not take lightly.

She continued to measure small and an Elective Section was booked for the 23rd of December. However, after attending my 38 week growth scan appointment I was admitted to the Antenatal Ward for observation and for, an earlier than planned, caesarean section the following day.

I barely slept that night but that was to be expected. This was the longest I had been away from Kerr since he was born and little did he know that I would be coming home with his newborn sister!

The next day Callum and I were waiting on the go ahead that theatre were ready for us. We laughed at the fact that I had two hospital gowns on, one to cover my vagina and one to cover my arse as I had no pants on. Little did Callum know that the laughing and distraction was helping because I was petrified. Yes I’ve been through this before but I was definitely in no fit state to be laughing before my last caesarean section. To this day Callum still mentions things about Kerrs birth that I can’t even remember because it all happened so quickly.

I kissed Callum goodbye and I walked round to theatre with my amazing midwife reassuring me every step of the way. I had to walk past my colleagues en route but every single one gave me a cuddle or said I would be fine.

The second the theatre doors were open I lost it.

I broke down in tears as it was just an overwhelming situation and brought back a lot of memories of Kerrs birth. As a midwife I had been in the same theatre Kerr was born in several times and never though anything of it, but for some reason I just became so emotional this time.

However, I don’t think there was a moment when someone wasn’t holding my hand. At no point did I ever feel alone or not listened to.

If you’ve ever experienced a theatre team, in any surgery, you’ll know how amazing they are. It’s like a military operation and they just know what they are meant to do. It was no different that day and every single person supported me. I got through my cannula and spinal with minimal-no pain and before I knew it Callum was being called round to join me. He held my hand and I could feel how nervous he was too.

This was it, our family of three was about to become our complete family of 4.

It is such a short time from your spinal anaesthetic to the birth of your baby and before we knew it the sterile drapes were dropped and we watched the birth of our baby girl. We watched her come into this world and seen her screwed up raging face for the first time. Callum and I squeezed each others hand in anticipation awaiting our tiny babys first cry. She let out the biggest scream you’ve ever heard which brought Callum and I to tears. (Kerr did not cry at birth and required some resuscitation when he was born, so to hear this high pitched wail was the best thing we had ever heard).

She was held up to us and I remember studying her little body thinking she was absolutely tiny but she was perfect.

She was brought into this world with Sam Smith: Unholy playing in the background (still makes me laugh) and Callum got to help with caring for her just after she was born. He did however make the mistake of looking at the operating table on the way back to sit next to me and returned a different colour than he left!.

We took raw, emotional pictures, we had skin to skin, we studied her little features and we just couldn’t believe how happy we were.  All those months of worry, the fear of having another caesarean section, the anxiety of loving another baby like your first and the anticipation of wondering if she will cry when she was born all vanished within an instant.

Everything was so relaxed, from start to finish.

We were taken back to recovery and our little baby was weighed at 5lbs 8oz. Smaller than scan anticipated. She really was tiny. Callum could hold her in one hand and every outfit drowned her,  but she really was perfect.

I am a labour ward midwife and gave birth in the labour ward where I worked so you can imagine how amazing it was to have my friends and colleagues come in and out my room to nosey at our new arrival. I had an insane amount of tea and toast (if you know you know!), I was supported and congratulated by everyone who stepped foot in my room and near enough every person seen my boobs or more. I actually didn’t even care by this point!

Bringing Kerr to the hospital to meet his sister and experiencing our first time as a new family is a feeling I will never forget.

I had a difficult recovery with Kerr, but to be honest, I was induced, it was a long day/night, I had an emergency section so I truly believe that the exhaustion had a lot to do with it.

This recovery was so much more comfortable. I made sure I took my pain killers regularly, I kept myself hydrated and I rested as much as I could (lets remember I had 1 year old at home too).

I know that I didn’t get the vaginal birth that I had hoped for. But what I did get, was an incredible caesarean section experience. One I will never forget. Everyones experiences will differ but I had an incredible group of midwives, an incredible medical team and a supportive husband who only wanted what was best for me and who were vital to my positive experience.

Im so grateful to every single person involved in bringing Alba into this world so safely!