PERKS OF POSTPARTUM
Let’s talk maternity pads. Not your average period wearing pads but those big thick, nappy, walking like you’ve shit yourself size pads you need to wear the first few days. Not only did I purchase them, but I also bought disposable, came to under my boobs, pants. If I hadn’t already had the baby I wouldn’t have been long in getting pregnant when my husband seen me with these on. So attractive!
I had decent size boobs pre pregnancy. I was absolutely not prepared for the Dolly Parton sized postnatal boobs to arrive and then slowly deflate leaving nothing but two empty sacs before my eyes. I swear I could pick them up, stick some change and my keys under there and be on my way. Perfect for when I’ve not got my bag with me.
Picture the pants, the pads and the droopy boobs. What a sight eh?
Let’s be graphic here. The first shite after a baby would put the fear of god into you. I remember sitting on the toilet after my first caesarean section thinking “right, if I squeeze too hard and my wound opens and my intestines fall out there’s a decent bag for life downstairs I can stick them in before the ambulance arrives”. I was prepared for the worst, but in the end, it was no more of a struggle than any other poo I’ve ever had. The bag for life survives for now.
The night sweats! I hope I’m not alone in this but I used to wake up absolutely dripping in sweat. I used to have to change my jammies at least a couple of times a night, change the sheets and wash my hair more times than I could be bothered. Again, so attractive!
One thing I abused postnatally was my pregnancy pillow. That thing stuck by me through thick and thin and was I hell going to give it up anytime soon. I had convinced Callum that it was helping me get up and down easier after my section and that it was helping me sleep. It was in fact making it more difficult for me to get out of the 9 foot thing, and it was making me sweat at night. I couldn’t believe how much space it actually took up until we binned it and I made the bed. Bye preggo pillow, It was nice whilst it lasted.
I still remember my first pint after I gave birth. Now, to my mothers disgust, I do love a cider or a pint. I’ll drink Prosecco, and I’m forced to whilst I’m out with my mum because god forbid her daughter ordered Tennants, but its not the same! I swear I must have been about day 3 postnatal when we ordered a takeaway and had a drink. This probably isn’t sensible considering its not the healthiest thing my healing body needed but I deserved it. I ordered a haggis supper from the chippy, something I’ve ordered about twice in my life but It was the point that I could eat haggis again, and had a couple of drinks. I was so chilled and It was then it began to set in that I was a mum of 2 under 2, it was Christmas, I was newly married and I couldn’t ever see how my life could get any better. Thinking about this, my postpartum hormones appeared and I started bubbling like a big wain. Callum, who thought I was greeting because I was so happy to have my first pint, stared at me like “what do I do?’. We started laughing and continued eating our chippy. My random outbursts of greeting happened often because seeing my two babies together was too much to handle. But lets face it, your first eat/drink of something you’ve craved throughout your pregnancy hits different.
Pregnancy is heavy going, but so is postpartum. You’re managing a newborn, lack of sleep, hormones, recovery, a new family life, visitors, pain, you name it. So as much as I make light of it, take care of yourself. Its just as important to have a healthy mum as it is a healthy baby!